#i need to finish the fic ive been writing
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tattoo artist azriel
Notes: possibly pervert azriel but y/n’s a pervert too. Dirty lines. This wasn’t gonna be smut but it is now. Sub Azriel but also, he’s a power sub. This derailed so fast. I promise we will go back to the tattoo stuff eventually. Plus size reader. Lots of run on sentences. I can't write smut so I tried my best.
funny enough this is probably one of the fics that’s nearest to my heart.
Word count bc this is the longest thing ive ever written at a whopping 4k
Pls listen to motivate by little mix for this.
-You met each other because your friend worked at a tattoo shop with him.
-When you walked in the door and saw this man that looked like a greek god standing there you almost bolted in the opposite direction and was going to text your best friend to just meet you outside.
-You knew about Azriel from your best friend. Kind but introverted. He didn’t talk much aside from jokey comments. But he was a man that your friend had deemed a safe one. You knew he was attractive based on photos, but the first moment you saw him in person, you didn’t expect him to still be so attractive.
-Little did you know, he also knew about you.
-He had seen a picture of you because on your friends desk there’s a collage of you and all of your guys’ friends. Anything that gives her motivation in such a touch and go industry.
-It was a photo where you were laughing at something your friend had said. Mouth fully open, nose scrunched and eyes squinting.
-He was enamoured with you. Something about you just put him into a trance. He didn’t want to sound like a stalker, because he sure felt like one. But he thought you were really pretty.
-He got to meet you because you had come to pick your best friend up for lunch. She was finishing up with a client as you sat at the front of the building.
“You can walk back there with her, you know.” Azriel leaned against the counter.
You shook your head, “nah, I’ll start yapping and oversharing with her client. She doesn’t need that.”
He chuckled, “I’m Azriel.”
“I’m Y/n.” You beamed and he felt his heart squeeze.
-Your best friend interrupted you two ten minutes later to drag you to lunch. He couldn’t help the blush that formed on his face when you waved and smiled with your big pearly whites.
-After a few months, he got the nerve to ask your best friend about you. He saw you about once a week now to pick your friend up for her lunch break. And every time he tried to work up the nerve to ask you out or ask your friend about you. You guys would chat every single time you saw each other, slowly getting to know each other more.
-”Hey.” Azriel started.
“Hey!” Your best friend chirped. “What’s up?”
“Is Y/N single?”
She had stopped sketching completely and looked up at him. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t be asking this as a joke.” He blinked in surprise.
“Azriel, she’s a serious type of girl. She’s not into hookups, and if you break her heart I have a slew of inappropriate things to tattoo on you.”
His stomach sank, this wasn’t going well. “I’m serious. I really like her, she's funny and cute.”
“She’s also queer. You need to be okay with that in order for me to let you date her.” She narrowed her eyes at Azriel, vetting him for you. “Oh, that doesn’t bug me. As long as she’s into men right?” He shrugged.
“In her words, she unfortunately is.” He knew she was testing him. For homophobia, or if he was okay with men-bashing.
Considering he knew he wasn’t the problem, he was totally fine with men-bashing.
“Lucky for me.” He said determinedly.
That’s when your friend smiled, and began forming a plan.
-Your friend through a summer solstice party. It was a bonfire in her backyard. You and Azriel had been briefly seeing each other all night. But at the end, you two were by the fire and began talking.
-He looked up to your friend's house and saw her give him a big thumbs up. He appreciated the encouragement but he was wigging out.
-He had brought you two s’mores and a blanket for the cool summer air.
You two happily munched on the snack, then he decided to get it over with before he threw up into the fire pit.
He looked over and saw you looked ethereal in the warm hues of orange and yellow as the fire crackled and popped. You had just licked a smudge of chocolate from your thumb.
He took a deep breath, “Y/N, I have a question.”
“Oh don’t say it like that. My stomach just fell into my ass.” You said exasperated. Fearing the worst.
“It’s nothing bad, at least I hope you don't think it is.” He sighed, “will you go on a date with me?”
“You don’t sound too happy to ask me out.” You laughed nervously. “No! No. I’m just so nervous. You’re really pretty and smart and funny. I've been interested for months.” He’s never been so candid towards someone he’s pursuing, but you are special and have the ability to strip him bare without even trying.
You smiled, “I want to say yes…”
“But?” He prompted. “It’s really scary for me to date.” You confessed, nervously biting your lip. “Tell me about it.” He shifted more towards you so he was facing you. “What can I do to make you more comfortable?”
Your heart turned gooey like the melted chocolate you had just eaten. “It’s really me that’s the problem.”
“I doubt that.” He said earnestly.
You huffed a laugh out your nose. “I’ve been on two dates. They both sucked and just made me feel shitty. I don’t like feeling like that. And there’s so much pressure to look good and be this person I don’t know if I am.” You shrugged. “Like putting the best parts of myself and not my whole self.”
“No offense, but only two? Honestly, you’re really attractive. I was expecting more competition.” He quickly realized how bad ‘only two’ sounded. He didn’t want to accidentally make it seem like he was calling you a ‘slut’. Even if you did sleep around, that didn’t stop him from being interested.
You shrugged. “Nobody wants to date a queer fat girl because they're insecure.”
That sentence pissed him off on your behalf, however he loved that you knew they were insecure and that you deserved better.
“I think you’re beautiful.” He said.
You blushed, “thank you. And I know you mean that.”
“I do.” He nodded, then he got an idea. “Do you feel shitty right now? Is this feeling like you’re performing?” “No?” You answered with your own question.
“How about this for our first date?”
You giggled, “we’ve barely seen each other tonight.”
“This. Right here by the fire. This can be our first date.” He declared. “No pressure. No performing.”
It was so cute and sweet, he’s so cute and sweet.
You couldn’t help your answer. “I’d love that. Let’s schedule a second one?”
He felt like his chest was about to collapse from happiness.
-Your second date, he drove his motorcycle to pick you up. He had advised against dresses or skirts and to make sure to bring a jacket.
You felt your heart race the second you saw this hot piece of ass on a motorcycle with a helmet for you.
-At stop lights he would reach an arm around to stroke your thigh. And while it was very forward, it gave you the courage to run your hands up and down his chest. Your nails lightly grazing his pecs.
-He was glad the light turned green so he could think about something weird to get his boner to go away.
-You two ended the night at a rooftop bar that your friend advised him on. You hadn’t been there but she knew you’d love it and you did.
-The warm summer breeze but there was still a slight chill. The fairy lights, the city lights. The appetizers and drinks. Alcohol for you, non-alcoholic for him.
-You felt peace with him. Like you aren’t being scrutinized or put on display. You felt more comfortable with him than you felt with most people.
-And you had only known him for a few months.
-You felt safe and protected.
-Once he dropped you back at your place. You didn’t want the night to end which was rare for you. Usually, you couldn’t leave a date fast enough.
“Can I kiss you?” He asked, he was blushing and nervous.
“Please do.” You whispered.
“Trust me, Y/N. You never have to beg when it comes to me.” He confessed before he pulled you to him.
It was a kiss that made your knees weak. It was intense, it was butterfly inducing. You felt flames in your stomach caress up to your chest. Your chest swooped with adrenaline. His hands moved from your waist to your cheeks, cupping them as he kissed you deeper. You had kissed others before, you had hookups, but they never made you wet from a simple kiss.
But this wasn’t a simple kiss. You always thought romance books were incorrect but it was nice to have fantasy. No, this was straight out of fiction.
You wanted to suck his soul out. You wanted to become so intertwined within each other you wouldn’t know where you ended and he began.
“Come inside.” You said, pulling away from him, he continued to kiss your neck as you fumbled the keys.
“This wasn’t my intention by kissing you.” He whispered in between kisses behind your ears.
Ah ha! You finally got the key into the lock. “Yeah well you got me wet so you’re gonna fix it.”
He was clearly caught off guard because he snorted a genuine laugh. “It would be my honor.” You finally opened the door.
The second that door was shut and locked you dropped to your knees. “Y/N.” He hissed. “I was planning on eating you out.”
“Okay and I’m going to suck your soul out.” You fumbled the zipper.
“Y/N-”
“Azriel I have never wanted to suck a man's dick the way I do yours. Please? Let me?” You made sure to throw on your big puppy eyes and you got him.
He threw his head back. “I’m not gonna last.”
“Good.” Your eyes darkened. “Now, unzip your pants for me like a good boy.”
He sighed, “you’re going to wreck me. But also I’m allowing this because I can’t wait to fuck you till you cry.”
Oh fuck. Was your only thought as his pants and underwear hit the ground. Causing his cock to spring up and smack his stomach.
Not only were his words scorchingly hot, but seeing his tattoos up and down his body was a wet dream incarnate.
He was thick and long. His tip was red and weeping. A fat drop of precum on the tip.
And he was pierced. He had a jacobs ladder piercing which made you salivate and wonder how it would feel inside you. There was a snake tattoo wrapped around his waist, with its head by his belly button and then the tail ending part way down his left thigh.
You could not wait to get your tongue on his skin.
You licked a stripe from his balls to tip. He hissed as your warm mouth enveloped his most sensitive skin.
You were glad you had blowjob practice before him, his dick hit the back of your throat and you were able to stop yourself from gagging. You could feel he was holding back so you came off of him with a pop. He groaned in annoyance but then somehow felt harder than before when you hoarsely whispered:
“Fuck my throat, Azriel.”
He swallowed, “tap my thigh if it gets too much.”
You nodded, smiling. Your swollen lips were a siren��s call. You were practically vibrating to get your mouth on him and be used.
He grabbed your hair gently, yet firmly and used your mouth like a fleshlight. It was so delightfully filthy it made you grow even wetter.
You’ve never been more happy for a guy to shoot his load down your throat. You swallowed every drop.
He had a good diet at least because his come didn’t taste like battery acid.
He shucked off the rest of his pants and pulled you from your knees quickly. He pulled you into a kiss. “Fuck, it should not be so hot to taste myself on your lips.” He murmured between your swollen lips.
He took off your tank top, showing your sports bra. “Where’s your room?” He said kissing your throat.
“Down the hallway, the only door on the right.” You whispered huskily.
“Good, because I’m about to do some multitasking.” He said, then lifted you up as if you weighed nothing.
“Shit!” You yelped.
He then dove into your cleavage, however you pulled his head away and ripped your bra off and threw it so he had easy access. He sucked a nipple into his mouth and you moaned. He really did multitask because he began walking to your bedroom.
“Left of the door against the back wall, is my bed.” You said between gasps. He switched tits.
You didn't even realize you had moved so fast until your back hit your bed. He ripped his shirt off and you couldn’t help but gaze at his ink. Whorls and delicate lines inked down his chest as if there were shadows caressing his skin. You had seen his arm tattoos constantly and they never failed to take your breath away, but these.
These were almost as sinful as the snake on his hips.
He began kissing down your stomach.
“This isn’t like me.” You whispered as he kissed your chubby stomach.
“What?”
“I don’t do quick…hookups.” “This isn’t a hookup to me, Y/N.” He nearly growled as he tore your leggings and panties down your legs. You looked down to see him sniff your panties greedily and felt more warmth gush from your cunt.
“You have no idea what I’ve thought about doing to you.” He said darkly. He grabbed your thighs. “I’m about to make you forget about anybody before me.”
“Well, no one’s gone down on me before so…” You trailed off weakly.
He shot his head up from kissing your thighs. “What.”
You shrugged, feeling slightly defensive. “No one’s really wanted to.”
“The day I say I don’t want to eat you out, shoot me. Cause that’s not me.”
“Well, let’s not go that far-oh!” You yelped as you felt his teeth graze the soft skin of your thigh.
“God, these thighs…” He muttered, biting your thigh gently, causing a sting of arousal to shoot straight to your clit. His warm tongue soothed the light bite marks.
You moaned. His mouth sucked your clit into his mouth with so much force your back bow3ed off the bed.
“Fuck.” You cried out.
He spelled his fucking name in your cunt with his tongue. His teeth ever so slightly grazed against the nub. How he knew you liked some pain you had no idea but you were grateful for such an intuitive partner.
It didn’t take long for you to get to the crescendo of this symphony. The slurping sounds, his moans as he tastes you, it was enough.
Your wildest fantasies didn’t live up to this. Your vibrator for once, did not beat the actual act of intimacy.
He licked you gently as you came down from the high. He crawled up to your face and gave you a sweet kiss where you got to taste yourself.
“Fuck, you were right. Tasting yourself on your partner's lips is hot.” You sighed.
He chuckled, “I don’t have condoms, if you even wanted to go that far.” He said sadly. But you knew it was cause he didn’t bring condoms. Not over the fact that you might not want to go that far.
“Top drawer of the left nightstand.” You whispered.
He smiled like he was given his favorite candy. He walked over and grabbed it, tearing it open gently with his teeth and rolling it onto his dick.
“Please tell me if it gets too much, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Please fuck me Az.” You begged.
When he entered you, he thought he was going to bust right there. You were warm and inviting. Then you clenched around him and based on the gleam in your tear filled eyes, you took great pleasure in torturing him.
“You know, when you’re used to my size I’m going to make you regret that move.”
“Oh, so you have an ego?” You said and wrapped your legs around his waist. Your heels digging into the meat of his ass.
But you weren’t fairing well either when it came to self control. He felt so fucking good. His piercings pressed up against each muscle inside of you. Rubbing against your walls so deliciously that your toes were curling. Your eyes filled with tears because the pleasure was so incredibly intense but you wanted more. You were ready to dive headfirst and drown in all things Azriel.
He deeply, yet gently, thrust into you, hitting that sweet spongy spot inside of you (that nobody has ever hit before) causing you to gasp and arch into him, forcing him deeper.
Your senses were in overdrive. Skin slapping, moaning, gasping, bed squeaking. Feeling his abs pressed against your soft stomach as your tits we’re pressed against his pecs. His head pressed into your neck as he deeply thrusted in and out of you.
Neither of you lasted much longer.
-After intense aftercare and very sweet words. You two decided you were a couple because you were insane for each other even after only two dates.
-It was incredibly impulsive. But it felt good and felt like he was your forever. That’s when you believed in the saying ��when you know, you know.”
-Once you and Azriel began officially dating and calling each other ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’. He put a picture up of you at his station. You were looking at the city lights from a rooftop bar you two had gone to. You were gazing out towards the lights with a sweet smile on your face. Your hair was a mess because you had just gotten off of work and needed drinks and appetizers with your man to decompress.
-You didn’t even know he had taken it. Which made it more meaningful for him because you weren’t posing or ‘making yourself look nice’. You were real, authentic and gazing at something you loved, the city lights.
-Your best friend saw it and her heart felt like it grew bigger because she knew you had someone who cared for you.
-His IPad was filled with drawings of you. Some were able to be shown but a lot were just for his eyes. He couldn’t help it. Your thighs and rolls looked like they were sculpted by Greeks themselves. So delightfully plush.
-He also dabbles in photography. Either with his phone, polaroid or film camera. He makes you put different lingerie on so he can keep the images of you forever.
-and jack off while you two are apart from each other.
-This man is loyal. Not only were you at his station, but there was a polaroid in his phone case of you. That one was a bit more risque and you only allowed it to be taken and put in his phone case because his phone case was black and no one couldn’t see through it. It was just in the back of his phone as a bit of motivation to keep working for his hot girlfriend. He’d pop his phone case off and secretly peek at it.
-it was you in a dark blue lace corset. You had posed with a hand heart against your chest and a beaming smile. It would be seen as innocent if it wasn’t for the clothes you were wearing and the fact that your nipples were seen through it. Your tits were deliciously pressed up tight against the lace cups.
-On his lock screen was a blurry photo Feyre had snapped of you two at a party. He was kissing your temple, you were half in his arms. Your arm that was wrapped around his waist and closest to the camera. Except it was flipping off Feyre (the live photo you can hear your laugh and Feyre’s and then the camera pans down because Feyre was caught). Your eye was winking from the force of Azriel’s kiss on your temple. Your smile was wide and you were clearly laughing.
-He stopped letting clients take their clothes off for placement tattoos. Even if in some cases it could be easier to tattoo a cleavage with the person's top off, he won’t do it. -He feels bad enough that his arms have to rest on their chest.
-The only tits he wants to see are yours.
-You find it hysterical that so many people fall for your man. It was a bit of masochism in your case, enjoying flaunting the fact that this God of a man was taken and happily invested in you.
-It helped that your man was totally fine with you being a weirdo.
-One time he bent over in front of you and you just, “I want to bite your ass.”
“I mean, you can.”
-You’ve tied bows around his biceps and taken a picture. You loved that photo because not only does this big buff tattooed man have a little pink bow wrapped around his biceps but there's also red kiss marks all over his arm.
-That photo alone could get you off.
-You’re a big fan of marking your territory. You keep red lipstick in your bag just to give him a kiss on his neck or anywhere where anybody could see it. Just to mark your territory.
-He eats it up. Like “yes that’s my lady, yes she’s hot. and she’s all mine and i’m all hers.”
-Usually leads to you two fucking in the bathroom.
-He is your good boy but can also choke you the fuck out.
“Come on, take it like a good girl.”
“Use your words, baby. I can’t decipher your babbling.” As he overstimulates you with his tongue and a vibrator.
-He’d happily be used as your personal toy.
-You sneak photos of him tattooing clients, it’s just so hot to see him so focused and into his job.
-He definitely offered to tattoo you but you kept declining, then he designed a beautiful sleeve design that incorporated all of your favorite books for your one year anniversary.
-So you got that sleeve done.
-It was one of the only parts of your body that had ink. You were a baby with pain but it was satisfying too. The only way you sat through for a sleeve is all the kisses Azriel gave you.
-He was never the type to like partner tattoos but he gets it with you. He has a heart with your first initial on his right ring finger as a promise to put a real ring on his left ring finger that also belongs to you.
-At tattoo conventions, tons of artists always want to meet him. You try to encourage them to go talk to him because let’s face it, Azriel is intimidating to just walk up to. His art style is very recognizable and people love him.
-You’re known as the Shop Sweetheart. Not only does your boyfriend work there but so does your best friend. It’s common that you drop coffee or food off if the team is working late.
-He treated you like a queen. Nobody had ever treated you so kindly yet also messed with you like a best friend would.
-Peace and love to your girl best friend. But this man was your partner in crime and in love.
#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acotar x reader#acofs#azriel x you#azriel shadowsinger#azriel acotar#azriel fluff#azriel x reader#azriel
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how many more bleedin wips could i possibly have oml .................
is any of this visible on a device thats not apple cus the colours aren't colouring
(and unfortunately theres more where this came from rip me 😭😭😭 just sketching nonstop but not committing to colouring 💀)
#this is why its been taking me so long to finish writing#plus i intend to have accompanying art pieces for each fic i write#ive looked at these for too long i am starting to hate it all#oh i forgot how patient you must be when you do any sort of creative endeavour#yes i was a gifted kid yes i am hard on myself why do you ask#sigh#is this even worth tagging lmao#dragon age#dragon age art#dragon age inquisition#dragon age veilguard#emmrich#emmrich volkarin#solas#solas x lavellan#dread wolf#fen'harel#fuck it why not#lavellan#inquisitor lavellan#dai#datv#dav#dragon age the veilguard#da: inquisition#solas x inquisitor#emmrich hand practice yes...............................#i need to do a solas study ...............................................#hhhngghgnghghhhhh#its thanksgiving and im in europe so im going to order fried chicken in the spirit of bounty and gratitude
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I'm very attached to my Cleo design as it is, but I looove when artists draw her with black sclera. So I came up with the idea that anytime Cleo casts a curse, her eyes turn black, and her irises start to glow.
Also very obsessed with the idea of her being super protective of Clawdeen once they start dating. Quick to come to her defense, and ready to cast a curse on anyone who even so much as eyes her the wrong way. Clawdeen is annoyed by this, and even sometimes downright embarrassed, but she does love always having someone in her corner.
#monster high#monster high fanart#cleo de nile#clawdeen wolf#cleodeen#cleo x clawdeen#id in alt#i haven't drawn them is so long *sobs*#i need to finish the fic ive been writing#i also really like clawdeen's outfit which is wild since i didn't put much thought into it#idk man that pink from her basic outfit that never showed up again is just so good#my art#sabz art#took a break from engaging with mh stuff for like a month#slowly getting back into it#also may have burnt myself out with those bhm drawings
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thinking about young wukong cherishing macaque - his first friend, his first willing subject/warrior from outside the mountain, the only other one of his "kind" - the way one coveted a treasure. Held him dear, held him close, put him on the softest cushions, draped him in the finest silk, dressed him up with the best garments the world could offer, fed him immortal peaches and wine that nations would go to war for a single sip. Macaque got a share in all the earthly and heavenly pleasures wukong could get his hands on, without lifting a finger if he didn't feel like it (he always felt like it, what's a warrior without a king to serve? but that's for another post). And yet wukong also guarded macaque the way one coveted a treasure - in which the best seals and wards were of ignorance. Held him dear, held him close, so close that for thousands of years the world knew far and wide of the Monkey King's exploits but nothing about the existence of his counterpart. No one could steal from him a thing they didn't know he had. Kept him always in wukong's shadows so the greeds of the world could never touch what's firmly his, so no other light apart from the Monkey King's could shine on his warrior.
The realms only learned of the Six Eared Macaque the day he was lost to the living by his king's own carelessness, and no amount of mourning or picking up the pieces could bring him back to wukong's trembling, remorseful hands.
#LMK#lmk six eared macaque#lmk monkey king#shadowpeach#lmk macaque#lmk sun wukong#lego monkie kid#yeah man im once again thinking about young shadowpeach#rattling my brain with my own hands like girl! you need to finish mtwgo before having other ideas!#and my brain was like hey what about young macaque's reverence toward the king who introduced him to the pleasure of taste too? you want it#*grits teeth* yes ive been wanting to write that fic since chapter 2 of mtwgo. no i must keep my resolve#my footprints#my lmk stuff#oh hey yall should read my cotl qpr shadowpeach fic. btw :)
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It's always "Shou and Ritsu need to blow stuff up with their minds for mental health reasons" or Ritsu and Teru or even Shou and Teru!
But what about Mob? When does he get to blow stuff up with his mind for funsies? For shits and giggles? He didn't go through all of those meltdowns and character development for nothing, let him go ham on a junkyard car or something smh
I believe in Mob's narrative given right to fuck shit up sometimes
#im hungry i should do homework i should also finish all of my other drafted posts BUT I AM LAZY#ive been starting to write fic tho at least thats productive. fic thats kind of relevant to this actually hm#listen i just want more Mob content where he does smth reckless or stupid with his powers he deserves it#or just in general tbh i need more content of mob being kinda mean or having arguments with ppl like to a healthy degree ok#but i still want him to. yanno. lash out and stuff. experience emotion. have him get angry over petty stuff#the first mp100 fic ive ever started writing/drafting had mob and ritsu having a proper fight post canon#i just need it for my OWN mental health. let them have dumb sibling fights and have mob express his annoyances#itd be funny and cathartic. for me at least. ill finish that shit one day its been assembled and disassembled but ill figure it out#eventually#let mob feel and express all of the ugly emotions he didnt allow himself to acknowledge for years pls#its my favourite thing#anyway.#mp100#mob psycho 100#shigeo kageyama#cine te a intrebat
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I've been writing both but i don't think i will finish both before the end of the month (imma try) but QUICK one day poll... which y'all want more?
i'll still try for both but ill work on the one y'all vote first.
#•𐦍 𝓀��𝓏𝓏𝒶𝓉тαℓк#urgh ive just been so tired lately#and school is starting soon#and i want to post my first kinktober on oct 1st#but ive been writing both#one night one fic the next the other#but i wont finish one in time like this hddkjhsdkj#so i need to focus jhdkjhdkj
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And thus, with the passing of 24 hours, Caeru's ambition truly comes to an end. Major Nemesis spoilers below the cut- we're talking endgame ambition business here. Mostly on a character RP front.
The Doomed Scientist made quite a few... choice decisions, in the end. Killing Cups once and for all, recording his story as one of grief-
And sparing what little remained of Mr Mirrors, leaving it free to roam Parabola as it sees fit.
Some of them, he can explain. Others, he's still left to feel... discontent.
Cups needed to die. That much was certain from the start. It was a tyrant, as all Masters are, and complicit in the bargaining and eventual destruction of four (potentially five) cities, as all Masters are. It was an obstacle. A murderer. A petty monster that felt no remorse even on its deathbed, and it went out of its way to ruin multiple lives just because it felt owed its own sick and twisted idea of revenge.
It killed his first love. It looked him in the eyes and he knew what it had done and he knew from the start it was going to die.
Perhaps, in the end, it knew too. And yet it still pleaded, and wanted to live, and-
It made a bargain.
A bargain Caeru didn't take.
Not because he didn't want to. Gods, he wanted to. He wanted it. He wanted it more than anything else in the world. To have Greylu back, to give him the gift of life, of love, to show him the wonders of the Neath and the beauty of the correspondence and all of the people Caeru has met and loved and found home with along the way-
But. He couldn't.
Because Cups was a monster. And no matter what, it deserved to die. And he could not, in good conscience, allow it to live.
Even if sparing it meant everything he's ever wanted.
So he's left here, now. With a bloodied traveling coat, and a bloodsoaked knife, and a favor finally fulfilled.
And nothing to live for. No resurrected lover, no charming visits to Helicon, no slow dances in the living room, no memories to rebuild and lives to live and he won't live again-
Nothing. All he has is a coat born of obligation, not to his love, but to people he's never even met. To lives he's never even touched. To a paramour, still alive, with hair of rose-pink, who doesn't even remember her own brother's existence.
Cups didn't die for Caeru's sake. Cups died for the sake of all who wanted it dead. For the revenger's court, and the ghost screaming in his ear, and the reckoning that will not be postponed indefinitely.
And Caeru, who acted as a tool to carry out their wills? Who all but betrayed his own lover, just to satisfy a cause he never knew existed?
All Caeru is left with, is regret. Regret-
-And grief.
#yin-thoughts#fallen london#fallen london spoilers#nemesis spoilers#so! nemesis huh!#i have. a lot of thoughts#overall i think heart's desire remains closest to my heart#but that's almost certainly bc of the obvious ''you always remember your first'' bias#there's a lot of problems with nemesis that have been talked to death by other people way more eloquently than i could ever express#(the big notable stopgates littered throughout. the weird pacing at the end. the fact you never meet your actual nemesis til the finale)#but overall i still liked it a lot!! i loved it actually!!! it singlehandedly made me like cups as a master!!!!#not because of anything nemesis actually DID mind you. i just really liked making up things about it#in place of nemesis. actually featuring it.#which could either be a plus or a minus against the ambition depending on what angle you look at it from#but. yeah. i'd say i enjoyed it. i enjoyed it a whole bunch#and now that ive played 2 out of the 4 ambitions and my FL hyperfixation evidently isnt letting up#it's safe to say we're all here for the long haul#tune in (insert miscellaneous time in the future) for when i finally after like a year and a quarter#get to find out what the fuck truly goes down in light fingers#and also keep an eye out for that caeru-centric fic ive been unsubtly alluding to and still need to write.#ive got a whole outline for it and it's. well#you'll all see when (if?) i finish it#i have some ideas abt how i wanna play around with the nemesis endings + what they mean to caeru#(and i do mean endings as in both of them)#and it all may seem. insane. when we get there#but i swear i have a direction plotted in my head#i swear#scoundrelventures#<- the scoundrel isnt mentioned At All in this post but that works as a general FL oc lore tag
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i'm a cis woman, but in the past few years i've developed a habit of headcanoning any male character i relate to as a trans women, beginning a fic trying to explore that, and then miserably falling short as i can never figure out how to end the story. i've recently joined a new fandom and started my most recent attempt at writing this ever-elusive character interpretation i've been trying to explain for years. and it occurs to me that maybe the reason i keep trying to interpret these characters i relate to as women and failing to, is because i'm trying to project the wrong experience. because i think that conclusion i can never fully bring myself to write isn't one about coming to terms with womanhood and embracing that identity, but about coming to terms with being a man.
so tldr im a trans man and this is a coming out post.
#shaking a little bit writing this but like. i dont know.#ive felt. alone a lot and ive been very scared of actually doing anything to make myself happy for a lot of my life#and ive felt a lot of shame about particularly. i dont know.#i feel a lot of shame in general#but about my gender. about feeling like i cant transition because i dont want to do it the way you see in media#and that its cool for other people to be gnc and trans and present however they want but#that itd be wrong for me. that id be faking#and i dont know i think im tired of running from it#im acting like this is some terrible truth. like this is an unspeakable evil i would inflict on the world by doing something that could mak#me happy. make me feel comfortable#i dont want that shame anymore#i never deserved it#anyways. i like the name angus. please call me angus from now on although autumn is actually still fine i do fw that name. always have#but i need to say this and put it out into the world and not take it back#this is my experience. this is my starting point. and fanfic and writing have been a big part of that#anyways. shoutout to#james wilson#most recent blorbo ive tried to trans the gender of. i think ill be able to finish this fic though lol.#trans#coming out#fandom#fanfic#personal#queer#lgbtqia
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on my hands and knees looking for more jakehal content. jakehalers where are you. my brethren. we are shrivered up and dying, in dire need of nourishment
#homestuck#jake english#hal strider#lil hal#jakehal#haljake#/lg obvi but fr ive been scrolling through jakehal tag on ao3 reading the same 5 fics and sobbing#“just write your own dam fanfic” IM TRYING OKAY#i have one finished up but its first draft and needs revisions#its a turnabout post game fic btw#and the cam cafe au is in development hell atm#I CANT FILL THE GAPING VOID ALL BY MYSELF
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And thats why Wild isn't allowed to walk around Skyloft on his own anymore.
Lu-tober day 23-24-25 (Cause my internet hates me lmao)
No prompt, just video :)
This was supposed to come out yesterday but then my interned died thE SECOND I was done. Literally, in the middle of rendering and my music stops working, I get confused, look around, see my internets down. Wasn't even up back in the morning D:
#lutober#lu wild#lu sky#Ive given up on prompts and am now doing whatever bullshit I think is amusing#TBH this is the farthest I've ever gotten on a prompt list so hey its working for me#Also I think I'm funny with the stamina wheel#I probably wasn't but ehh whatever#linked universe#Can't believe I forgot to tag like the last 5 posts with the LU tag#Actually no I can believe it#I also can't be bothered to change it lmao#I say also a lot don't I?#Its my need to add additional stuff I guess. I like rambling :>#Anyways#Also been doing a bit of writing in my spare time so maybe maybe oneshot fic of the chain soon?#IDk we'll see cause it'd be my first time uploading written work and that makes me nervous#And also I have to like. Finish the scenes. Thats issue too#K RAMBLE OVER SORRY
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idk if this is something im maybe hallucinating or maybe its just the posts that i see occasionally but ifl sometimes its hard for the fandom to let yjh exist outside of kdj?? like i know the whole kdj being the reason for the story and yjh as an extension to exist is a thing but yjh separating himself from the narrative and establishing himself as not just the protagonist but a person is Also a thing and i feel like we don't talk about it as much.
like i dont know man!! maybe this is all in my head but sooo much of the yjh content also doubles as joongdok?? and you KNOW i love good joongdok but where are the character studies. where are the deep dives. where is the acknowledging yjh as an intricately convoluted and complex characters with his own wishes and desires and the way those desires fuel the narrative like goddddd hes SUCH a Character i think we need to discuss it more. anyways hes my fave btw no one gets him like i do
NO YOURE SO RIGHT THAT IS EXACTLY WHATS HAPPENING
Like yjh becoming a Person is his whole growth??? I haven't been consuming nearly as much orv content, and I'm pretty sure it's for this very reason cause I want more character studies so bad!! Or dynamics with other members of kimcom!!
You ever think about him and mia, mia who is suddenly so distant from her brother, you ever think about him and jihye, how she wants to be strong like him
Or sp!!! Who carries so much grief, and it saddens me that his "why is it not me, but you?" line got reduced to "oh he's jealous he doesn't have a kdj" when it's "he doesn't have ANY companions he doesn't have a SISTER A DISCIPLE A TEACHER"
#god if i knew how to write yjh i would be making sm stuff#yjh hobbies post epilogue: gardening is one of them. i think something hands on#also yjh transgenderism study. i need to make her genderfluid/transfem#i mean ive seen more of them throughout my time but still. whats more transgender than literally becoming your own person#i remember really wanting a fic of the yjh pov during divorce arc where he thinks about himself being a character#hmm way back i vaguely thought up a mini oneshot collection that wouldve been about kimcom and each a mini study about them and Characters#im pretty sure youve never watched utena but in it is this idea of being trapped in your own coffin#and applying that idea to being a Character has always sat distantly in my mind but i could never articulate it enough to try and write it#maybe after i finish a couple other fics first ill attempt it idk#if i ever do ill so get back to you on that#cause for that one i would need to actively discuss with someone i just know it#orv#astra's asks#roshan
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hold on ok i belted out a brief laughingstock Scene for possible future use that i Had to write down bc if i didn't, i'd never remember it. and why not share?
~
“Barnaby? Barnaby, old chap, are you with me?”
Barnaby blinks, registering the green fingers snapping in front of his nose. He huffs a laugh and pushes Howdy’s hand away. “Yeah, yeah, I’m listenin’. You were saying?”
Howdy gives him an exasperated look, a fond look. “Thinking about running off to a farm again, were you?”
“Nah, just the clouds. They’re a lot less work.”
“Well I’d rather you didn’t. Who would I talk to during the long hours if you went and floated off?” Howdy winks before turning to his shelves, already yammering away about something or other.
Something or other that Barnaby is once again not listening to, because what was that? Barnaby quickly presses his cool paw-pads to his burning cheeks, feeling the bristling fur there.
Has Howdy ever winked at him? Now that he’s noticed it, Barnaby can’t recall. If it’s new, then why? Why a wink of all things? What did that mean? And that look Howdy gave him…
Barnaby adjusts his abruptly too-tight tie. It’s unusually warm in the store, isn’t it? Howdy must have forgotten to turn on the AC.
Gosh, what is Howdy even saying? He’s still talking, but Barnaby hasn’t absorbed a word. He can’t even tell if Howdy is still speaking english. It’s all garbled.
There’s something wrong with Barnaby. He must be coming down with something… or he’s just overthinking it. Overworking the ol’ noggin. A good long nap should set him right.
“Listen,” Barnaby interrupts, patting the counter, “I uh, I don’t know where my head’s at. I better go find it - I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Oh… alright, then,” Howdy says, a tinge of disappointment in his voice.
Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking. Barnaby slaps that thought out of the park. He doesn’t want Howdy to be disappointed, that’s absurd. That’s something a bad friend would think. Barnaby may be many things, but a bad friend isn’t one of them.
“I’ll whip up a joke that’ll knock your socks off next time I see ya,” Barnaby promises. He smiles around the discomfort and the entirely new feeling squirming around each other in his chest.
“Now you’ve gone and brought up my expectations,” Howdy says. He leans on the counter and grins. “Are you sure you can back up such a claim, Mr. Beagle?”
Another hot flush races under Barnaby’s fur, and to his growing mortification, his tail starts wagging at breakneck speed. He lets out an uncharacteristically nervous laugh and backs away from the counter. To both of their horror, his back hits a shelf, making it rattle and tip.
“Oh, sh-” Barnaby lunges to right it before it can topple. He whips around and laughs again. Howdy’s wide-eyed stare burns. “Sorry ‘bout that! Talk about a bulldog in a bugshop, geez.”
“When you find your head, make sure to screw it on nice and tight,” Howdy says, a strange look on his face to match his tone. “And check your temperature while you’re at it - it’s not like you to be off-balance.”
“I wouldn’t say I’m off-balance,” Barnaby says. He inches towards the door, willing his stupid tail to calm down. “I just have ears instead of rearview mirrors.”
“Uh-huh…” Howdy slides to the side, trying to peer around him.
Barnaby fumbles for the door. The scrape and bang of his search for the handle echoes in the quiet store. One of Howdy’s eyebrows creeps higher the longer Barnaby stands there, making a complete fool of himself.
Finally, the door clicks, and Barnaby nearly tumbles over backwards in his haste to get out. He stumbles down the steps and briskly walks away, adjusting his hat and tie. As soon as he’s out of sight, he slaps his paws to his face and sags against the bodega.
“Idiot,” he hisses to himself. He presses his back flat against the wall and slams the side of his fist against it. Normally, Barnaby would use a situation like this to his advantage. But Howdy wasn’t laughing, and Barnaby wasn’t being funny. “Bulldog in a - gah, idiot!”
Great. Now Howdy thinks he’s not only a clumsy oaf, but that he’s losing his touch too.
Barnaby growls in frustration, pushing off the wall and stomping away from the plaza on all fours. What does he care what Howdy thinks of him? Others’ opinions of Barnaby have never been anywhere near his list of top priorities - barring Wally’s, of course. If they were, he'd never tell another joke again.
Yes, Howdy is a good friend of Barnaby’s. A close friend, even. But since when has he had such a - such an effect? Barnaby shakes his head, growling again.
There was no effect. Barnaby is just going insane. Or he’s getting sick, like Howdy implied. That would explain the sudden hot flash, the loss of typically impeccable coordination, and, oh yeah! Barnaby’s brain leaking out of his ears.
#context from My Brain:#barnaby's chatting with howdy as usual and howdy does Something endearing#or was it like... idk one of his personality quirks pops up#& barnabys like 'aw hes doing The Thing. its one of the things i love about him'#and obviously has a moment of 'whoah wait Love?? haha where the fuck did that come from. whatever *proceeds to panic*'#essentially: the first domino falls#laughingstock#aaaaand not tagging as anything else#if people see it they see it#i havent posted Any of my recent (and rare) writings so this is slightly mortifying!#its been too long since ive posted fic i need to buckle down on my wips#not this one obvs since its not even really a wip#just a tidbit for future me to edit and implement#my dc wips... who i still want to continue & finish so so badly...#the mermay timber one... the timkon cannibalism... cowboy hat rule... and many more...#anyhow i can feel my writing confidence atrophying#i glance at one of my wips and my entire brain recoils like its the worst thing since (insert bad thing here)#shaking myself by the shoulders 'Its Not That Bad You Are A Decent Writer Whose Fics Are More Often Than Not Well Received'#my brain is trying to convince me everything is terrible i need to forcibly shut it the hell up
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BUT IM NOT A WRITER. something strange possessed me to write my first proper fanfic in maybe a decade. be niceys to me but also grill me so i can get stronger. this one is a stupidly self indulgent bit between Soda and Emizel, a day or so after emizel was sired. CW for gore descriptions, but thats about it i think. image below is a snippet of the start. the rest of the whole dang thing will be under the cut. ive never posted fanfic ever in my life. read my tags for secret behind da scenes commentary
"Oh shit… I think hes dead…" It was another night, another patrol, another fight, and another win, for Emizel and Soda.
Under moonlight, under street light, under interwoven wires above, the two stood here in a quiet and damp alleyway. The air was drenched with the smell of a previous rain, and the puddles of said storm remain huddled in corners and pot holes.
One splashed as soda found himself stepping forwards into one. The residual adrenaline of the fight had left his body shaking, his heart still pounding, his wounds still throbbing. They had still won; or more-so, Emizel had won. A particularly nasty blow to the side had Soda reduced to the side lines for most of the fight, left to watch as his newly vampiric comrade had absolutely eviscerated the competition.
Emizel had only been turned a day ago, but it was impossible not to notice how it had changed him. He already acted so goddamn confident, so on top of the world, and this newfound power, newfound speed and strength, only built upon his insane ego.
The Fangs that they encountered here on this night stood no fucking chance. Emizel was too quick, too strong, and he easily chased off the rivals. It was only now, as the final unfortunate opponent had turned to flee, a clean clock in the jaw sent the human tumbling to the ground with a dull thump, and it did not move afterward.
Soda shifts his shoe out of the puddle, the cold seeping into his sock being one of the few things keeping his mind in his body in the moment. Is the guy breathing?
A low laugh bleeds from Emizel as he stretches his arms, licking his sharpened teeth as he stares off in the direction the remaining Fangs went. Soda knew that look on his face, the look of a tiger pondering on its next kill, he knew well that Emizel wanted to chase them.
But the guy on the ground.. It was one punch to the face, and the wicked crack sound that came from it had planted a seeding dread within Sodas chest.
As he steps forward, around the puddle, the resulting sound made Emizels attention click back over to Soda, the snap of his gaze making Soda flinch.
The two lock eyes, and Soda weakly gestures to the limp body on the floor. "The uh.. I think.. Is that guy dead?" He finally asks, having a hard time keeping contact with Emizels intensely red eyes.
Emizel turns his attention to said body, tilting his head as he goes to kick at the thing, turning it over. "Man no way hes dead, I punched him once." He mutters.
"Well, yeah, but his head almost twisted all the way around when you did.." Soda steps up to stand beside Emizel, the two boys standing with their hands in their pockets, down at this unfortunate, limp body.
"Should we hide it?" Soda asks, glancing back over at Emizel, who had.. An odd look on his face. He was clearly pondering something, but Soda could only guess whatever was going on in that brilliant head of his. He knew and trusted that Emizel was smart. If anyone could figure out what to do about this, it would be him.
But the lack of an answer had anxiety chewing at the back of Sodas rib cage, and after a second, he speaks up again, compelled to fill what he perceived as a tense silence. "Like.. I dunno, I've never uh... killed a guy..." He shrugs, prompting Emizel to let out a big sigh.
"He's not dead man, just out fuckin cold." Emizel kneels down next to the body, putting an ear up to its chest, and pondering on that for a moment. An uncertainty twists his expression, as he decides to instead place a hand on the victims throat, checking for a pulse. A moment passes, and seemingly finding nothing, he pulls back.
"Uh... Okay, so he might be dead."
Something about the confirmation from Emizel made a shiver run up Sodas spine. That, or maybe it was just the breeze agitating the cold water in his shoe.
"Huh… Damn.." Was all that Soda could really get to leave his mouth. Which was hardly a splash compared to the torrent that was slowly churning in his head. They just killed a guy. Or, Emizel just killed a guy. And it was so easy. They had to hide the body now, right? That was the usual progression here? Getting caught for murder was way more extreme than getting caught for breaking mailboxes with soda cans. It was so, so disturbingly easy. It really was just one punch. It's not like the Fangs are weak by any means, so just one punch? And this guy is dead? Forever?
Or, perhaps by human means, their rivals were fairly tough. But Emizel was on a whole other level. No mortal could stand up to him now...
"Hey, are you okay?"
The question had pulled Soda back from his head, his gaze flicking back over to Emizel, who was looking up at him with those eerie, piercing red eyes. Soda felt another shiver.
"Uh, ieah man, I'm all good." Soda nods, swallowing down whatever anxiety was bubbling up in his throat.
But Emizel didn't seem satisfied by his answer, standing back up and staring down his human comrade. Soda couldn't meet his eyes, his gaze instead traveling downward, and pausing on Emizels red, cut-up shirt. There was something off about the color, the way it seemed darker in some spots, brighter in others.. Wait, wasn't Emizel wearing a white shirt before all this?
The vampire boy seems to pick up on Sodas expression, following his eyes down to his shirt. "Oh, yeah! While you were on the floor, the knife guy got me a little" He says, a stupidly simple smile on his face. Soda was about to let out a laugh at how unbothered his friend seemed by it, but it gets caught in his throat when Emizel goes to pull his shirt up.
The sound of the bloodied fabric peeling away from skin made Sodas own skin crawl, but that wasn't nearly as bad as the sight of the intense gash running from his collar bone, down to his stomach.
"Oh, fuck dude!" Soda gasps, but Emizel laughs it off. Even despite knowing Emizel well, Soda was still surprised by just how much Emizel could shrug off. "Shit, doesn't that hurt, dude?"
"Oh yeah this fucking hurts!" he says with a laugh, his smile big and toothy and proud as he presents this egregious wound. Swollen and angry, pulsing with a slow heartbeat, and still oozing with thick, dark blood.
The sight of the split flesh, and the glints of bone beneath the dark, dark red all tugged at Sodas gag reflex, and yet he couldn't pull his eyes away. So Emizel's just been walking and talking so normally this whole time with his chest just cleaved wide open? Soda felt just as impressed as he felt horrified.
It wasn't until Emizel reaches down to poke at the abhorrent wound that Soda snaps out of it. Watching his friend press his fingers into the bloodied flesh, and slowly pulling it apart, allowing more ichor to seep from the gash, it was too much to watch at this point.
Soda reaches up to put a hand on Emizels wrist, the vampire boy stopping, and looking up at his friend.
Soda found himself freezing again when he locks eyes with Emizel. He was going to say something now, right? "U-uhm.." Is all he really chokes out, giving Emizels wrist a gentle tug. "D-do you. Uh. I suppose a hospital Isn't a place you can go anymore..?"
Emizel just smirks at that, letting Soda pull his hand away from the wound. "Oh, yeah no, but it's fine. I mean, I don't think it's gonna kill me" He shrugs. It was so, so impressive just how unphased Emizel was by all this. Fuck he's actually so cool.
"Well yeah man but it's like, still a bleeding hole. Like you're soaked in blood dude, I'm pretty sure that even a vampire needs that stuff on like, the inside." Soda rubs the back of his head, still unnerved by the sight of it all. "Vampires have like, super healing, don't they?"
"Oh yeah like, regeneration powers. I know I heal faster sometimes but I dunno how to just, activate it on command.." Emizel hums, his eyes narrowing down at his own injury, as if trying to will it into mending. Soda looks away, unable to watch that vile gash ooze any longer.
"I dunno man, how do they do it in like, video games?" Soda tosses the question out, trying to click together some sort of solution in his own head.
"Uhhh.. Huh, video games.." Emizel repeats to himself, chewing on the thought while idly poking at the laceration; until an idea audibly flickers to life in his head. "Oh, I just gotta refill my blood meter. Or whatever."
"Oooh yeah, blood meter!" Soda perks up, "Of course, see this is why you're the brains, man" Soda smiles, glancing back over to his cool friend, but immediately needing to look away again when the sight of that egregious gash tugs bile back into his throat.
While Soda averts his eyes, Emizels eyes wander back over to the body, and that classic 'Emizel has a bad idea' smile creeps across his face.
"Well, if this guys dead, I'm sure he's not gonna need all that blood.." He grins, kneeling down next to the body again.
The word 'wait' had hardly gotten the chance to crawl from Sodas mouth, before Emizel lifts up the arm of the unfortunate body, pulling the sleeve back, and immediately sinking his teeth into the exposed wrist.
The sound and the sight of blood gushing around Emizels teeth made Soda cringe, his hand impulsively coming up to aide his own wrist. An empathetic phantom pain made his wrist ache, his imagination simulating the feeling of shark teeth cutting into skin, sinking deep into the flesh, and clacking against bone. That was a lot of blood, that was streaming down the arm of this fodder.
A low growl bleeds from Emizel as he adjusts his teeth, cutting into more flesh, opening the wound further, and allowing a pulsing torrent of red to stream down his chin, onto his coat. It was an annoying thing, to clean blood out of clothing. Most of the Demons deemed it easier to just let the stains remain. But the night that Emizels throat was torn open, and liters upon liters were granted freedom from his human form, the unbelievable mess had practically changed half the color of Emizels iconic coat.
That was the first time Soda had ever seen that much blood from one person. And well. This would probably be the second.
The sight was unnerving, but it was impossible to look away. The alley was quiet, save for the distant bustle of a distant city, which made the noisy squish and squelch of teeth gnawing on flesh all the more apparent and nauseating.
Emizel had become a monster for sure, and watching it feed on something was… thrilling, in a way. It reminded Soda of feeding a pet spider, or lizard. A mouse for a snake.
It's a heavy thing to witness, the end of a human life. The fear of death is a primal thing, and Soda was no different from any other living thing. He figured everyone else feared death just as much as he does. Well, maybe except for Emizel, of course.
It made sense. Emizel was such a cocky and noisy kind of guy, but hes always had the power to back it up. Even when he lost, or seemed at his lowest, Soda still saw this sort of fire in him, one that Soda admired.
Of course Emizel would be the one to become something like a vampire. Something that Soda had always figured was just a fantasy creature thing. He wondered; if vampires were real, what else was real? Werewolves? Zombies? Unicorns? Are there real demons? Like from hell? Is hell real? Is he going to hell?
The sudden ttteeeeaaaaarrrr of flesh rips soda from his wandering thoughts. Emizel was tugging his head away from the arm of his kill, his teeth clamped down into the chewed meat, and pulling it apart. Soda had seldom seen so much of the inside of a human arm, and the sight of spilling threads and squirming veins was hardly something he ever wanted to stomach again.
"Oh fuck, dude, hey-" Soda steps forward, raising a hand, but the way Emizel snaps his head back over to him, twisting to an unnatural degree, Soda cant help jolting back.
Reddened teeth glint menacingly in the low light, a threatening growl thundering from its clenched, dripping jaws. Emizels eyes were focused, yet wild, glowing with whatever light they could reflect.
Sodas eyes were wide, and his body was frozen in the thick, electric tension within the air. It was like staring down an angry dog.. Suddenly a light bulb in his head flickers to life. It was kind of like an angry dog, right? One hunched over a meal it didn't want to give up. Memories of old encounters and unfortunate dog bites resurface in Sodas head, and with that experience, and with those lessons learned, he gathers the courage to react.
He shuts his eyes, keeping them closed for a few seconds, as he slowly pulls back his arm, and slowly steps back. It was an eye contact thing, wasn't it? Eye contact makes dogs angry, right? That was how you dealt with an angry dog? As he pulls back, and takes in a breath for composure, he finally dares to peek at the angry vampire before him again.
Its snarling had died down, but its eyes were still trained intently on Soda. After a tense, and agonizingly, slow pause... It blinks back, lowering its head back down to its meal, but keeping its anxious stare on this potential threat.
A relieved sigh falls from soda as the tension finally melts. He didnt realize he was holding in so much of his breath. "O-okay, man.. It's yours, you uh.. Earned it.." Soda mutters, stepping back further, until he was standing in a sufficiently dry enough space to sit down in. Now that he wasn't standing, he was finally taking into mind just how much his hands were shaking.
It's odd. Soda couldn't really describe this feeling thrumming in his chest as something like fear.. Nausea? For sure. Disturbed and rattled? Oh absolutely. This was certainly a sight he would have a hard time scrubbing from his eyelids when he sleeps tonight. But he wasn't scared. The memory of the night that Emizel was sired still coated the inside of his mind like an unwashable film. Even in that moment, when the unnatural teeth from the unnatural maw of an unnatural thing hovered over his throat, he couldn't say with confidence that he was scared.
Emizel really is his best friend in the world. And he knows with his whole heart that Emizel feels the same. He knew and trusted that his best friend would never hurt him. Not too badly at least. He loves Emizel, and would give anything to support him.
Like a mouse to a snake.
This really is an incredible power that his comrade had come across, and Soda especially felt a sort of pride in his friend. He felt it was worth it to help him feed it.
The bile in his throat had made its point, and Soda agreed, that watching someone die, and get torn apart and drained might be too much for him. Despite how much he hated the Fangs, the end of any human life seemed like such a jarring thing. To have such an intense fear finally get confronted. Would he go to hell?
Maybe he couldn't just feed people to his friend. So an alternative could be donated blood, right? Soda wouldn't mind giving up something like blood. His body makes it for free, after all. Maybe some other Demons would agree to give up some blood too. But they shouldn't have to take on such a burden. Soda wouldn't mind being the only one. The only one. The only one.
His hand comes up to rub at his neck, as his imagination conjures up what it might feel like to have teeth sink into his flesh. He's been stabbed before, is that sort of what it would feel like? Would he have to get stitches? He didn't really want to get stitches, so maybe there could be a more effective way to get the blood out of him. And there was so much vital stuff in his neck too. There's' a vein that's safe to cut into somewhere, right? He would have to look that up later.
A STARTLING RINGING;
Splits the moment,
Prompting both Soda and Emizel to jolt in shock,
As the phone in Emizels pocket rings away.
Acting as if nothing abnormal had taken place, Emizel pulls out his phone, and answers it.
"Heyy, Johnny! Yeah we chased em off, I don't think those bastards will be infesting this street again anytime soon. Yeah, ieah we'll be heading back soon. Oh fuck yeah dude, save us some!"
Emizel covers the speaker of his Nokia, turning back to Soda with a big smile on his violently bloodied face. "They got some pizza waiting for us back home, dude!" he whispers out to him.
Soda does his best to crack a smile, and to suppress the look of unease that probably stained his face, as he stares at the literal murder scene that's been splattered about in front of him.
"Oh, yeah, hell yeah man.." He swallows down the bile again. "What kind of uh.. Soda did they get?"
Emizel ponders that, before turning back to the phone to ask Sodas question.
"Sprite and a big pack of that one strawberry mountain dew" Emizel tosses the answer back over to Soda, who gives a nod, and thumbs up.
Mountain dew is so neat, Soda really liked all the wacky flavors those guys come up with. The thought of going home and opening a can of soda was certainly a comfort. After witnessing all this blood and gore and viscera, Soda absolutely needed to get back home and get a nice cold glass of something bright red .
As Sodas mind wanders off to soda, Emizel wraps up the conversation on the phone, before hanging up, and standing up.
The movement had pulled Sodas mind back into the moment, enough for him to timidly voice a concern he's had since the start of this debacle.
"Uh, hey, so.. The body, should we… Uh.." He gestures vaguely to it, and Emizel grants it a nonchalant glance.
"Eh, I can toss it into a dumpster or something, I dunno. I'm sure its fine. I'll handle it."
The vampire boy goes to pick up the corpse, the wound in its mangled arm no longer even dripping with blood, the flesh pale from the absolute absence of red in its veins.
"Go ahead and meet me by that one mailbox, the one with the bullet hole in it." Emizel casually instructs, tossing the drained body over his shoulder. "I'll catch up."
"Uh, yeah, okay.." Soda musters up a nod, and the strength to rise back up to his feet, wincing as that bruise on his side makes itself loudly known again. He still felt anxious, but even despite it all, he knew he could trust Emizel to take care of things. He always does. "Just stay safe man, I'll see you there." Soda assures with a smile, and Emizel matches it, tossing him a wink. And then suddenly- -He's gone! If Soda had blinked he would've missed it, but he was fortunate enough to just barely catch the glimpse of Emizel darting off at an inhuman speed, probably looking for a place to dump the body. Right, he would take care of it. Emizel always makes sure his crew is taken care of. Well... Guess all that's left for Soda is for him to walk back to that meeting spot. He looks around the alley for a moment, taking in the sight of that enormous pool of blood in the middle of the concrete. Or whatever the floor of this alley is made from. He ponders on the present moment a little longer than he meant to, the shock of it all leaving him aimless for just a few, soothing moments of just, decompression. The night is quiet, vast, and cold, but the stresses of just the past 5 hours had left his body radiating with fiery aches and pains, so the chill of the occasional clawing breeze was welcomed. Except for when said breeze agitated the cold water still soaked into his sock. He should step in another puddle on his way back to even it out. The smell of rain still rested heavy in the air, heralding another storm on the horizon. There was that, and then, well, there was also the blood. The stench of it felt far too intense to just ignore it, the metallic miasma making itself maliciously unmistakable. Maybe the impending storm will wash this mess away... He looked forward to putting this unfortunate night behind him. With one last rattled, but deep breath, he stuffs his hands in his pockets, and turns away, strolling back over to the mailbox that Emizel had described.
He couldn't wait to get home and drink some soda with his friends.
#NO TAGS ON THIS ONE BC WELL. IM SHY. IM TAKING A BIG LEAP JUST BY ALLOWING U TO REBLOG THIS. IF IT BREAKS CONTAINMENT THATS UR FAULT.#i unfortunately suffer from the disease of 'i hate everything i write the day after i write it' BUT IM GETTING TREATED#I WILL NOT BE HAUNTED BY THIS WEAKNESS FOREVER. AND HEY LOOK THIS IS THE FIRST ACTUAL FIC BIT IVE EVER FINISHED..#ITS SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!! AND BY JOBE I WILL BE PROUD EVEN IF I HATE IT.#i dont always need to be the one who likes my art bc i know Someone out there will always enjoy it.#and to that someone i say: omg thankyou i LOOOOVEE YOUUUUUU!!!!!#JUST DELETED A WHOLE RAMBLE I JUST HAD ABT NERVOUS DISCLAIMERS FOR MY ART BUT I DONT NEED EM!!#GET CONFIDENT GET CONFIDENT GET CONFIDENT. ANYWAY. so emizel and soda huh#THEYRE SO CUTE TOGEEHTERRRR TEEHEHEHEHEEEE they are the homies that kiss eachother goodnight like CMON#but uhh so hey your bestest friend in da world just got turned into a freaky creature thing that eats ppl#ieah yknowthe guy that u care about alot that u had to watch get bled out by another freaky creature thing in an alleyway#yeaaah and you were super hurt and weak and stupid and u couldnt do jack nor shit to help him#what was i talking about again. RIGHT so hes even cooler now bc he cant die n hes super strong n his arms can be knives. sometimes.#but also he can eat people now. and sometimes he cant stop himself from eating people. and thats kinda scary. but in a cool way.#but also in a disturbing way. but also in an interesting way?but also in a freaky way.the feelings ARE MIXED!!!ATLEAST I THINK THEY WOULD B#okay again i havnt listened to the suckening ina bit. so its been a minute since i absorbed their personalities. i could be misreading or#misremembering or misconstruing or mischaracterizing or WHATEVER. i think the confusion carries its intended effect#LOSING MY TRAIN O THOUGHT. anyway i love soda n emizel i hope they get locked in a saw trap together or somethign. for enrichment.#TALOS GRANT ME THE STRENGHT TO POST MY CREATIONS ON LINE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHH!!!!!!!
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i swear to god the next time i think "oh i feel and function much better now, maybe i dont need my meds anymore" i NEED to remember that that is the DEVIL SPEAKING and that the REASON i feel and function better is BECAUSE the meds are IN my system and that the NEXT COURSE OF ACTION is NOT to REMOVE the from my system but to KEEP THEM THERE good god
#I AM SO SHARP AND PRODUCTIVE THESE DAYS IT IS INSANE I#I FEEL LIKE HOW I FELT WHEN I FIRST GOT INTO TOT SO SHARP AND CREATIVE AND WRITING AND ONLY NOW DO I RMEMBER THAT#THAT WAS ALSO WHEN I STARTED MY MEDS#THEN I WENT OFF THEM IN FEB-MARCH 2022#IMMEDIATE DIP IN PRODUCTIVITY AND MOOD. AS IF. MAYHAPS. THE MEDS BEING IN ME H E L P E D#AND THEM NOT BEING IN ME DID NOT HELP#I CRACKED THE CODE. THE ANSWER IS THAT I WAS AN IDIOT#dootdootdoot#sorry for the capitalized yelling but this felt like the expanding brain meme for me. guys. guys ive Written#i /wrote and finished a fic/#it's for a zine so i cant post it yet yall have to get the tot olympians zine (@olympianszine) to read this one#and then i sTARTED A NEW FIC AND I HAVE 1.5K WORDS oN THAT#and thats on top of everythng ive been working on for the nxx comp vol 2 and work and life#damn. what a good set of meds can do to a mfer. why was i so angsty about going on meds again i need this shit tf
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THE 50 THOUSAND WORD MARK HAS BEEN BREACHED I REPEAT THE FIFTY THOUSAND WORD MARK HAS BEEN BREACHED
#personal#canary continuity#when it comes to the first draft im very sure i wont be crossing 55k words#but that doesnt mean its not going to end up longer than that because i need to lengthen several scenes#and yes i actually think i might need to make it slower in some places. even though i have just crossed fifty thousand words#the last 25 thousand words of this is just a dissociative psychotic break so stay tuned for that#my highest estimate was a lot larger than how it turned out but like. GOOD. i do not need to make a novel length fanfiction#(ignoring that 50k is the minimum length of a novel and this is like 140 pages long)#i mostly have to do some of the earlier scenes which are the ones i have to be more delicate with#even though theyre not like the nasty abuse ones. its because capturing the uncanny valley is so important#ill probably be heavily editing them after i finish the first draft#sorry ive been yapping about my progress so much btw i do Not share my fic with my friends for personal reasons (intense paranoia disorder)#so this is my thought dumping ground. also i just love babbling about writing
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well one of family never ends' author's other fics is the epilogue of course ;) but ipgd also wrote people don't do that (alphacest), homestuck watches boku no pico, and like the first uucest fic
YAASS OMG.
ANON.
Thank you.
Deeply and truly thank you. Saved me a real pain. It was People Don't Do That. Gonna reread it ASAP. I don't remember if I read the uucest one, but I powered thru a lot of fics while I was sick in Jan, and I don't remember like 90% of those two weeks. (Like, as I'm going thru the tag I'm reading now, I'll see something unclicked and go to read it, finish the fic like OMG SO GOOD, and then scroll a little more and I see my name at the top of the kudos list and it's like, wait, when tf did I read this? It was when I was sick.)
Ughhhh. I ADORE the dynamic of whichever younger Strider being the instigator, and it fits Alphacest so deliciously. (I don't even know what to say here without being so fucking overtly horny for Alpha Dave in general but that's not new lmao.)
But seriously, the scene on the roof where Dirk took Dave's underwear, like. I died. There's no other way to put it. It fucking killed me. I'm going to remember that forever, it was so good.
#anonymous#asked#hhhh ive had this text box open typing paragraphs for a while but none of that shit was relevant#i was just rambling too much abt the alpha dave in my own wip#just ugh i love in fics when dirk gets alpha dave all flustered#(i mean. bro doing that to dave too is good im not denying that)#but if its dave riling up bro that means it was something particularly nassssty which is great#like for dirk and dave the freaky bar is a higher reach#idk where im going w these tags i need to get ready for bed lmao#stridercest#seriously thank you it wouldve taken me forever to get around to finding the title#ugh i could talk for days ab alphacest hhh the hero worship is so fucking good#i dont remember which tab was scrolling that ao3 tag but im pretty sure its one i read all the way through#i havent found another open alphacest one lmao the despair when i read to the end of the tag was horrible#i might stillhave some fics i havent read yet open in the tab folder but its probably like longer stories that take me a while to start#for now tho im workin on the brodave one (and so many more lmao recently opened a tab for brodirk)#i read too much and dont write enough i couldve already been done w my wip and moved on to finishing the other wips#anyway#im cold and gonna get into bed
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